Back to reality- Part twelve

DIARY OF A FRUSTRATED UNPUBLISHED AUTHOR!
June 18th 2010- Part twelve
Firstly I would like to say a big thank you for all the positive remarks you sent me about my version of Pride & Prejudice. It was very kind of you ........it was a bit bonkers really, wasn’t it? The next and final instalment is in December, will Mr Firth and Miss Scott get together? Find out in ‘Christmas at Pemberley’.
The suntan has virtually faded away......... my diet is back on track, not helped by the arrival of an old fashioned sweet shop in the local town. There is only one possible answer to beat the post-holiday blues. So what is it? Book another holiday of course!! I have booked a week away for September. It was a choice between two places really, Menorca or Fuerteventura .Last time I stayed on the Canary Island of Fuerteventura, despite the lovely hotel and idyllic setting there was a major shock to my delicate disposition! I got talking to this pleasant enough man (he had the look of Popeye the sailor man, actually). He appeared harmless and a perfectly, respectable guy. Every morning he took his towel and headed down to the beach and foolishly I decided to join him. When I got my toes in the warm, talcum powder sand I was shocked at the sight around me. Oh my goodness Popeye was stark naked!!!! As much as I tried not to, I couldn’t seem to drag my eyes away from his meat and two veg.......it was mesmerising, for all the wrong reasons!! When I finally looked away I noticed almost everyone else on the beach happened to be naked too! My blasted Travel Agent hadn’t informed me I had booked into a resort known and loved to naturists......it was an extremely harrowing experience. I had two choices I could either, strip off and lay next to Popeye or else I could scamper back to the security of the hotel! Well of course I didn’t strip off........ I’ve had a very sheltered upbringing you know! I also admit to giving Popeye a wide berth for the rest of the holiday! So this time I will be returning to an old haunt on the Balearic island of Menorca. Hopefully the local police won’t be alerted to my arrival.
I have been stupid to pin all my hopes on the B.B.C. as the letter has finally arrived from them. It isn’t good news I’m afraid, my bubble has been burst! The script readers look at the first 10 pages in order to assess the writing and they have decided not to take things further. Bums, bums, bums!! I feel like creeping off into a dark corner to lick my wounds. I know you shouldn’t take things personally, but I do and it hurts. I will not be defeated........I have a cunning plan. Wait and see what I do next, hehe! In the meantime a spot of hedge-diving will soon sort me out and lift my mood! N.B. - Holly can be extremely tricky.....best to avoid!!
When I came back from my hols last month a series of events led me to believe that a favourite neighbour of mine had died. I was most upset that nobody had informed me of the death, nor asked me to contribute money towards flowers, etc. Then the weirdest thing happened, the doorbell rang and I answered it to find said neighbour, standing on my doorstep grinning inanely. I did a double take as I wondered if this man was still living, or a phantom of the most gruesome kind. Had he had a particularly messy lunch or was that ectoplasm on his shirt? How do you explain to someone kindly, that you thought they were demised and were now pushing up daisies? Anyway it was a very embarrassing five minutes to have.........the neighbour left thinking he was dead and/or that I was a complete lunatic!! Suggest he could have thought the latter to be true! Poor man!
Something else rather weird happened. Two pairs of pants went out on my washing line, only one came back in. Was it the strong winds or were the rife, rumours of a prolific, knicker-nicker really true? Have we got a pantie thief in the area? I fear we have!
The deranged pair, Chris and Zoe went to the cinema to see the much awaited film ‘Sex and the City 2’. Zoe was so excited she was like a puppy with two tails. Unlike Chris he couldn’t appear to muster any enthusiasm for it at all. He thinks that Sarah Jessica Parker has got a face like a foot and can’t understand what all the fuss is about!! Am I the only person in the world that has never seen the series or movies?
As soon as I’ve finished this blog I’m going to have a glass/bottle of red wine, a large bar of chocolate and a night in with Colin firth. Obviously it won’t be in the flesh, as his lovely wife Livia needs him, but I will put on my new D.V.D’s. Yes, I confess I succumbed again and bought ‘St Trinians 2’ and ‘A Single Man’ while I was supposed to be doing a food shop. I’m sorry but I’m not a virtuous woman! In fact you could say I’m very easily led.
Tomorrow the search starts again for the literary agent that doesn’t appear to exist!! Also I must put my cunning plan into action.
Catch you soon.
P.D. Scott xx Downtrodden? Not yet!!