DIARY OF A FRUSTRATED UNPUBLISHED AUTHOR!
July 2nd 2010- Part thirteen
After the negative feelings I’ve had since I received my rejection letter from the B.B.C., I took a few days to nurse my bruised ego with the help of vast amounts of chocolate. I then dusted myself down and bounced back up again! You can’t keep a good girl down for long and there’s no dignity in moping around! Two quotes put everything back into perspective. The first was from Henry Ford “The way to succeed is to double your failure rate.” The second was from Mary Kay Ash saying “Sandwich every bit of criticism between two layers of praise.” I’m not after world domination......I just want someone to take a chance on me and publish my books. I expect poor Colin Firth is devastated too, about my screenplay not coming to fruition! He must be chomping at the bit to play the sexy psychologist. I have put my cunning plan into action (see last blog). I don’t think I’ll admit what I’m up to yet, in case someone in the know gets wind of it, but I will tell you if and when I can...............ha-ha, I can’t help giggling inside.
Move over Nigella Lawson....I am now a domestic goddess of unrivalled cleverness! No I don’t mean in the culinary fashion......my spicy meatballs are still revolting! They turn out as a spicy meat mess, not a ball in sight, actually! My creative genius is in the form of home-making. I have made a pair of curtains for Colin Firth’s room, when he finally moves in. Wow, how clever am I? It doesn’t matter that they are both different lengths does it? It is a fashion statement (it’s my story and I’m sticking to it). They look good when they’re open!
I have another rant coming on! What is it about the latest trend to wear your pyjamas to the supermarket? What’s that all about? Surely your night clothes are meant to be worn to bed (if Colin Firth’s not popping round for a sleep over). Or for simply, reclining on the sofa for a duvet day. Zoe, I know you’re my friend (deranged or not) but please take note, do not go to the shops in your P.J.’s to try to entice unsuspecting men back to your flat!! Rant over!
In the Royal British Legion near to where I live, there is a ‘Ladies Night’ coming up. I am being encouraged to go along and shake off my innocence. To be quite frank, naked firemen pointing their hoses and naked policeman waving their truncheons leaves me quite unmoved. I can assure you that if Colin Firth was on the stage showing off his rippling muscles and shaking his bits, I’d be in the front row!! So I will not be attending, in case I turn into a woman of easy virtue!
Every evening at precisely ten o’clock a fox comes visiting my road. It’s as if he has a very accurate time piece on his wrist. Do foxes have wrists? Even though there have been many documented reports on fox attacks on young children and small animals, I can’t help looking forward to his visits. I’ve named him ‘Mr Darcy’, as he’s quite dark, slim and saunters proudly down the road.........although I don’t think the human Mr Darcy would rip open rubbish sacks to find things to scavenge on, or like the fox leave little presents on the drive (poo)!!
Last Friday I ventured to the seaside with Captain Haddock. For any new readers to my blogs, Capt. Haddock is a car, not an unscrupulous, one legged pirate with a parrot on his shoulder! The weather was beautiful and I got my belly burnt (forgot the sun cream).Unfortunately the day was slightly marred by a terrifying experience! I got ambushed by a gang of evil seagulls........they waited until I was sitting comfortably and then about 6 million of them came after me. It was like a scene from Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’..............very scary! I suppose it will teach me not to have fish & chips on the beach.
Talking of scary things, my stalker (H.G. of Oxfordshire) has been absent of late. Has he finally got the message, I wonder? Oh no, he couldn’t be the phantom knicker, nicker could he? (See last blog) Odd things are once again afoot in the neighbourhood.
Please do not hurl heavy objects at your screen but I have made my first Christmas purchase of the year. I know I am a bit previous but before you ridicule me just think, I will have the last laugh when everyone else is scurrying about the shops on Christmas Eve while I will be reclining with my feet up!
I will tell you of any news in my next blog............ take care people!
That’s all folks!!
P.D. Scott xx