Thursday, 29 July 2010

July 30th 2010- Part fifteen
Tip of the day- Do not over use exclamation marks....nothing is that exciting!!!!!!!!!
I’ve decided to come clean about my cunning plan concerning the B.B.C. If you remember I was devastated at having received a rejection letter from them, saying they had read the first ten pages of my screen play but as they were so busy they weren’t going to take it any further. Well, I was discussing it with the deranged pair (Chris and Zoe) and they said I should send it in again. They seemed to think that if the readers were so busy they probably wouldn’t remember my script. Chris and Zoe were only joking, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. So I did a really cheeky thing. I printed off another page complete with a new title, accompanied it with a different letter containing a slightly different synopsis and without delay sent it to them again. A week later I had a card saying that my script was in the writers room waiting to be read and I would hear in a couple of months. How amusing would it be, if this time the same screenplay got through? I am a naughty minx! Failing this naughtiness, I have four more addresses to send my script to, including Channel 4 Television and Talkback Thames Production. I will not be beaten!! (Yet)
I had a very bad start to the week. My neighbour came knocking at my door looking slightly miffed. He explained that my darling bamboo had escaped from my garden and had turned up in the middle of his lawn. Crikey, I was dumbfounded, I knew it was over zealous in my garden but I hadn’t guessed it would go and visit the neighbours! After much debating, I agreed I would dig it up and put something nasty on the roots to stop it taking over the world. Life would have been so much simpler had I put in something a rose bush!
Each year I spend a lot of the summer going to barbeques, which is astounding really considering the English weather. The last one was hosted by (deranged friends) Chris and Zoe. For three years they both worked abroad as holiday reps. Last year they lived in Cancun, Mexico (yes through all the swine flu). Anyway I’m digressing, Chris made this ‘thing’ (side dish) called ceviche. It’s a Mexican seafood dish containing prawns, coriander, red onions, lime juice etc. It was so refreshing and I was so out Chef Ramsay! I spent the afternoon grappling with Zoe....trying to get the wine away from her! It’s sad how Zoe has a major problem sharing alcohol.......naughty whippersnapper!!! It’s when she’s indulging in wine that she starts to do ‘peculiar’ things. I guess we shouldn’t go there as this blog is not X-rated. That’s an idea. Blogs to be read after the watershed! I like it!!! Could Blogspot ban me from that, I wonder? I could call it ‘The Exploits of a Sex Fiend from the Suburbs!’ Or ‘Mr Darcy- Gentleman or Sex Pervert?’ Oh dear, I can hear Jane Austen spinning in her grave.
I recently read from somewhere on the internet that if in doubt when you are writing a screenplay put in a funny sex scene. I suppose it applies to books as well. I’m going with that theory anyway. So far my new book consists of around 7 funny sex scenes. Too much do you think? Probably!
You’ll all be disappointed to learn that Mr Darcy (the fox) has deserted my road. He has obviously had a better offer. No doubt in a neighbourhood known to have classier rubbish for him to rummage in, caviar or truffles for example. Mr Darcy is a scoundrel and a cad and must be expelled from polite society this instance!
What a disaster! Yesterday, I plunged myself into my rather full, bubble bath, which caused a mini Tsunami. A dangerous amount of water seeped down into the kitchen via the ceiling, perilously close to the electric spotlights. Obviously it wasn’t my time to meet my maker! Relief!! Must remember not to overfill bath in future, or take Colin Firth in to bathe with me....will have to stick with rubber duck (not so much fun).
See you later.
P.D. Scott xx


  1. I'm glad things are sounding more positive for you Pd, let us know how it goes. I had an idea for you on gathering more inspiration and that was to watch a batch of dvds preferrably romantic ones to give you some inspiration. Look at their plots, change characters for some of your own inventions and inject that lovely humour of yours. What do you think? Have fun and enjoy the ride! xxxx (P.S strange about your bath problem, I've had exactly the same, with my over enthusiastic teenagers in the shower~Perhaps its because both you and I are water signs, lol) Carole (facebook)

  2. I'm not so sure about the cunning plan with the BBC... they might put you on the 'naughty list!' As writers have to grow tough skins, don't we? I collect rejections, see this post: - but it doesn't help much.

    Did the Beeb give you any feedback at all? I've only ever had about 50seconds of topical comedy accepted by them but I'm going to keep trying!